If you’ve ever left a work interaction thinking “What just happened there?” or “Why did this escalate so fast?” —you’ve brushed up against workplace drama.
Not the theatrical kind. The subtle, exhausting, performance-draining kind.
In my work with leaders and teams, I often see that what gets labelled as conflict, miscommunication, or difficult people is actually something more predictable — and therefore more workable.
That’s where Transactional Analysis and the Drama Triangle become incredibly useful.
Two simple frameworks. Profound impact.
I often draw on concepts developed by Eric Berne, the founder of Transactional Analysis, and later expanded through the Drama Triangle described by Stephen Karpman.
Not as labels. Not as therapy. But as practical maps to help leaders see what’s happening — and choose differently.
Because once you can see the pattern, you’re no longer trapped inside it.
A quick lens: ego states at work
Transactional Analysis suggests that, in interactions, we often operate from one of three ego states:
- Parent – critical, directive, rescuing, or controlling
- Child – reactive, defensive, compliant, rebellious
- Adult – present, grounded, responsible, choiceful
Most workplace drama happens when people unknowingly slip into Parent–Child dynamics.
Someone criticises → someone defends. Someone rescues → someone becomes dependent. Someone withdraws → someone escalates.
Productivity drops. Tension rises. Energy drains.
The most resourceful place to operate from — especially in leadership — is Adult to Adult.
Not cold. Not detached. But clear, accountable, and emotionally regulated.
The Drama Triangle at work (without the drama)
The Drama Triangle describes three common roles people slide into under pressure:
- Victim – “This is happening to me.”
- Rescuer – “Let me fix this for you.”
- Persecutor – “This is your fault.”
None of these roles are “bad.” They’re human responses to stress.
But when leaders and teams stay stuck in them, organisations pay a price:
- blurred accountability
- emotional exhaustion
- repeated conflicts with different faces
- decision paralysis or over-control
What I help clients do is step out of the triangle, not by blaming the roles, but by reclaiming agency.
Why Adult-to-Adult is a “Sage” place to operate from
From an Adult stance, you can say things like:
- “Here’s what I see. Let’s look at options.”
- “This is the constraint. What’s within our control?”
- “I’m responsible for my response — and so are you.”
This is not emotional suppression. It’s emotional integration.
Adult-to-Adult interactions allow:
- clearer thinking
- cleaner boundaries
- shared responsibility
- better decisions under pressure
This is where leadership becomes sustainable.
How I use these frameworks as a coach
I don’t analyse clients. I don’t diagnose behaviour. I don’t “tell” people who they are.
Instead, I use these models as shared language and reflective mirrors to help clients:
- notice their habitual responses
- understand what triggers them at work
- experiment with more resourceful choices
- strengthen self-command and emotional regulation
Always in service of:
- awareness
- choice
- responsibility
- forward movement
These frameworks sit comfortably alongside modern coaching, leadership development, and mental fitness work — when used ethically and consciously.
Why this matters for leaders today
In complex, high-pressure environments, technical competence is no longer enough.
What differentiates effective leaders is their ability to:
- stay out of drama
- regulate themselves before others
- respond rather than react
- create Adult-to-Adult cultures
This isn’t “soft.” It’s strategic.
An invitation
If you find yourself — or your teams — repeatedly pulled into drama, reactivity, or emotional fatigue at work, I invite you to a confidential discovery call.
A safe, professional space to explore:
- the patterns you’re caught in
- the role you may unknowingly be playing
- and how to operate from a more grounded, Adult, resourceful place
You can book a time that works for you here: 👉 https://calendly.com/beatrice_redi/confidentialdiscoverycall
Drama is expensive.
Adult-to-Adult leadership is not only calmer — it’s far more effective.
